So much of our understanding of ourselves and how we relate to others is expressed in two words – “extrovert” and “introvert”. But for terms we so often use and rely on, what do we really understand about what they mean?

And for introverts – for whom that term is sometimes viewed as something to fix or treat – what if the way we’re wired is a gift and an opportunity to bless and enrich the lives of those around us?

Bestselling author, life coach & counselor Holley Gerth calls us to a fresh and transforming look at a familiar concept.

God intentionally designed introverts this way, and half the population is made up of introverts! For a while though I really just understood what being an introvert wasn’t. I thought it meant I didn’t love small talk. Didn’t necessarily want to go out every night. But I didn’t understand the untold story of introvert strength, and as I went on to become an author, a counsellor, and a life coach in my own personal journey, just looking into what it really means be an introvert, I discovered we have strengths I think our world needs more than ever before.”

“Introverts and extroverts are a complementary pairing. We see that so much in the creation story. There’s a night and a day, a masculine and a feminine, and – also – God intentionally created introverts and extroverts.”

But Holley’s message isn’t just for introverts.

“I think a question that’s helpful for all of us, in every relationship – no matter what type we are – is simply asking, ‘How can I love you well right now?’ Because we tend to guess other people need what we do and think about life the same way we do.”

“One difference between extroverts and introverts is how we experience happiness. Because of our brain and nervous system wiring, extroverts often experience happiness as excitement or enthusiasm. Introverts experience it more as calm and contentment. So extroverts are going to worry about their introverts and think they must not be happy when they’re just chilling out, staring out the window or whatever we’re doing. When, actually, we’re ok! Or vice versa. So I think just understanding some of those different things and taking the time to pause and listen and find out – how does this person process the world? And how are we better together? I think that’s a real act of love and service.”

Holley Gerth is a bestselling author, life coach & counselor. Her latest book is The Powerful Purpose of You: Why the World Needs You to Be You.

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On the Road with Holley Gerth