Today is the day you believe you will finally be free of the burden you have been carrying. You are more than ready to drop it and finally be free to dance. To breathe. It’s been a long journey, and finally the end is in sight – it even seems to be within arms reach! But just when you think the waiting is over, another day is required. And another. And another…

You fall to the ground, dazed, wondering what happened? What went wrong? Was it something I did? The simple answer is no. You did nothing wrong, it’s just not your time. Maybe God isn’t ready for you to move forward. So, you make your way up the stairs and crawl into bed, and as you close your eyes and start crying out to God, you understand that once again, more is required of you. You are being pushed further than you ever believed you could endure.

The night is long. It is filled with restless dreams and sudden starts. But in the midst of fatigue and heartbreak, sleeplessness and consciousness, God whispers that he’s got you. Your heart is quickened, and somehow you begin to feel peace. You know that God is on your side. As that reality sinks into your heart, you feel his love for you seep into every nook and cranny of your soul.

During this journey you’ve learned determination, courage, and how to put one foot in front of the other. You’ve learned to bite the bullet and keep moving. But hopefully during this time you’ve also learned how deeply God loves you, and how much he wants to be with you.

I think we have a choice in dark seasons like this to either get angry at God, or to humble ourselves and kneel before our Savior. What you choose to do really decides the outcome. The world is evil, fallen, scary, and painful. It is always letting us down. And if you choose to focus your sight only on these things, you will fall. I believe that if you abandon God in this season, fear and anger will begin to rule your life.

But if we seek out our Savior, we will begin to see a larger picture. We will begin to see what lies beyond the clouds. We need not fear, and we need not worry, because Christ has overcome the world. It’s true that we cannot live outside the world, we are very much in the thick of it. But instead of cowering in fear and uncertainty, we see the shadow that proves the sunshine. We trust the hand that guides us. We delight in the Father who loves us.

How else can we learn to have faith – trust – in God, if not through times like this? He has his best for us. His best may be accompanied by money, a nice house, or a dream come true…but that is not his best. His best is him. Ultimate peace, joy, strength and dependence that is not reliant on you or any other person. His best for you is a relationship fully restored to him, your creator.

I’ve made the choice: it’s worth the journey. We get to enjoy a relationship with God that will only continue into eternity.

“All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

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