He walks into the room. You immediately notice. Something about him draws you. He pulls you into conversation and commands the attention of the people around you. You walk away and think, “I like him and enjoyed his company.”

That person exudes charm!

The question is, are you born with charm? Do you have it or not? Is it a characteristic you can learn?

The science of charm (yes, it is a science) says charm is a learnable skill. Charming people do certain things that make them charming. If you pay attention to their actions, you might notice a few things. Psychologist and retired FBI agent, Jack Shafer, paid attention and wrote a book called The Like Switch. He and other researchers studied what makes a person charming.

Consider these 8 tips:
1. Flash your eyebrows, tilt your head and smile. Your biggest asset is your smile. People who smile and put on a happy face are considered more trustworthy, warmer, and social. We are drawn to them.
2. Mirror the nonverbal of the person you are with–if they cross their hands, do it too. These nonverbal cues invite people to engage with you in a positive way. Then, act genuinely interested in the person by asking open-ended questions.
3. Remember a person’s name but don’t name drop. People who try to impress by acting important do the opposite.
4. Recalling details about a person is a strong way to impress. How many times have you been taken aback when a boss or someone you barely know remembers a personal detail about you? This signals, hey, they were paying attention when I interacted with them.
5. Become a good conversationalist by learning to listen well and express empathy.
6. Use humor and find common ground and points of connection. Agreeable people get high marks on charm.
7. Treat everyone with respect. Serve and show kindness.
8. Back up your words with actions. Charming people don’t just talk the talk. Anyone can say that they’re going to do something, but charming people follow through with real actions. They back up their promises with deeds to show they’re not just out to further themselves. They want what’s best for all those around them. Their yes is yes, and no is no.

Now, Jesus had to be incredibly charming as people were drawn to him and followed him. The way he interacted with people included many of the points mentioned above. Jesus was genuine, interested in others, served, and was a man of His word.

As you imitate Christ, the power of the Holy Spirit will draw people to you. Our true charm comes from being a child of God and having His spirit in us. That light draws others.

In the end, we walk away from a charming person and feel better having been with him or her. It’s true that charm can be used to manipulate people, but it can also be a genuine way to connect and engage with people. And being likable is a trait that will benefit you in life and be a way to influence others for good.