Not too long ago, I heard a woman say that she wished Valentine’s Day could be multiple times a year. When asked why, she replied, “Because it is one time of the year my partner is intentional about our relationship. I’d like that to be the case more often.” She’s right. We need to pay attention to how we are doing in our intimate relationships and be more intentional. So here are a few tips to get you thinking about how you can boost your partner relationship.
- Create a love map with your partner. A love map is a way to know your partner more intimately. You track with their personal preferences, favorite things, and more. To do so, you have to ask questions about their likes and dislikes, their experiences and passions. It’s really all about getting to know how that person thinks and feels. Knowing the details of your partner’s life tells them you want to know them. Being known is important in any intimate relationship including our relationship with God. It builds a good foundation for a relationship.
- Show affection. There are many ways to do this. Tell them you love them. Touch, cuddle, hold hands, kiss their cheek, rub their back, etc. Touch is powerful and releases hormones that create a sense of bonding. Touch also reduces stress.
- Talk about your partner in fond ways. Some examples of this are to tell others how proud you are of them and talk about their achievements and accomplishments. State your appreciation for all they do. Tell them you would choose them all over again and remind them why you love them.
- Shake it up. When you are in a relationship for a while, it helps to do something new to boost the excitement. The reason is because novelty stimulates dopamine in the brain. Dopamine helps with feelings of desire and activates the reward centers. So, get out of that mundane routine and try a novel thing. It may be something simple like cooking a new meal, a picnic in the backyard for dinner, a weekend away, etc. It doesn’t have to be expensive, just new.
- No matter what happens, always turn towards your partner when things get tough. If you want to keep your relationship strong, your partner needs to be your go-to person. The mistake too many couples make is turning away from their partner during times of difficulty. This is dangerous because you shut your partner out emotionally when you turn away. And if you turn away, the temptation is to talk to someone else about intimate things. When you do, you are bonding with another person, not your partner. So as difficult as it might seem, turn towards your partner when problems comes.
- Share a spiritual relationship. Couples who share faith and attend church regularly report higher satisfaction in their relationship than those who do not. And couples who share religious practices at home, do even better in the satisfaction category. This means that sharing faith and living it out can make you a strong couple.