Codependent relationships are a type of dysfunctional helping relationship where one person supports or enables another person’s addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or underachievement.

Counselor Todd Mullikin joins the program to discuss how to identify and stop co-dependent relationships in their tracks.

There are two sides to every co-dependent relationship, one side is always taking and the other side is always giving.

For a time, the side that is always making sacrifices can relish their role as savior and martyr. However, relationships are designed to be mutually beneficial and after a time it often turns sour.

“That’s the dilemma of the co-dependent is they build resentment over time towards their spouse because they are so frustrated because they don’t feel safe to speak the truth because it won’t go well if they speak the truth.”

According to Todd, even if it doesn’t go well, we still have to speak the truth to buck the trend. If the person suffering in a co-dependent relationship doesn’t take initiative and say something, they will continue to enable the negative behavior.

“The controlling person doesn’t realize they’re running their spouse over with a truck every day emotionally because they don’t know anything is wrong.”

When we feel like we might be in a co-dependent relationship, how do we talk to our partner if when we know it won’t go well?

“Here’s where it gets tricky, they think they’re outside God’s will when it doesn’t go well. They think ‘well, I didn’t do that right and my spouse had a hissy fit, so that must not be what God called me to.’”

Todd urges us to look at the Gospels and examine how Jesus interacted with people, He spoke truth with fearfulness and wasn’t afraid to rock the boat.

Highlight: consequences of a co-dependent relationship

The Dangers of co-dependent relationships