“Happy Valentine’s Day! I’m giving up on you!” How depressing does that sound?

Sure, it sounds crazy, but that might just be one of the best gifts you can give your loved one. Here’s why:

1. Your loved one isn’t yours first

Before you were around, your significant other had a lot of people that loved him or her. The love was probably mutual. And it likely still is.

More than that, before any of your loved ones were even around, God created them. He designed them uniquely, with an individual personality, and fashioned plans for them (Isaiah 43:1, Psalm 139:13). You may be a part of the Lord’s plans for your loved one –but you’re not the plan. Let the Lord be the center of your loved one’s life.

2. Surrendering your loved one to the lord improves your relationship

Contrary to what many popular songs and stories suggest, you don’t belong to one another. You’re joined together to glorify God, not yourselves (Mark 10:9). Getting possessive of your significant other is a problem because it puts you in a role you shouldn’t be in –and one you can never fill.

When you recognize that the Lord is sovereign over all things (even your spouse’s ridiculous stubborn streak!) you can more easily surrender him or her to the Lord. In the process of giving your loved one up to the Lord, you give up the sins in your heart that try to be master wrongly. You can let go what isn’t yours to control.

3. The Lord has him or her already

The phrase “give it to God” is interesting because it implies that we have something that God doesn’t. That isn’t the case. When you surrender your loved ones to the Lord their position doesn’t change, yours does. God has had them all along. He knows His plans, His people, and He is at work (John 5:17).

Your surrender is a change in heart that humbly acknowledges the Lord and His work. It frees you up to pray more for your love rather than praying about him or her. For example, a surrendering heart prays “Lord, will you work in His heart” instead of “Lord, this man, what am I going to do?”

4. Giving up and being “given up” relieves unnecessary pressure

Love is tough. It’s risky, it’s challenging, and it requires putting a whole lot of “me” aside for someone else. If you love someone, you know how tough it can be. When you assume wrong responsibilities and positions it’s that much harder –and not just for you.

Your significant other is influenced by the stress and anxiety you feel. The words you speak to your love, the opinions you hold, and the emotions you share are all connected to what you are actively believing about the Lord and both of your places in His world and His work (Matthew 15:18).

If you want to ease some of the pressure that you and your loved one feel, give each other up to the Lord. Assume your right roles in His order, with the Lord as head, center, master, counselor, keeper, and so much more. He’ll do a better job –and you won’t have or share those (obvious) feelings of insufficiency. Because you’ll be focused on the one who is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9).