If you’re a single mother, you know what it’s like to deal with loneliness.

Former single mother Michelle Senters can sympathize with the loneliness that accompanies this season of life.

She says that while it’s okay to desire companionship, single moms can’t buy into the lie that having a husband will save them or solve all of their problems.

“What you’re doing is you’re projecting your need for a savior onto a human man and no one can give that to us. It’s unfair for your future husband to project the need that you have to save me from myself. Only the Lord alone can do that.”

Michelle encourages all single mothers to find their healing in God, before they try to find the healing in someone else.

“Do the hard work that it takes to become healthy. I encourage single moms to devote a certain period of time to get to know Jesus. We say we love Him, but do we really know who it is that we love? Sometimes we spend more time buying a purse than we spend getting to know Jesus.”

For Michele, it was two years of time away with the Lord.

“I did not date, I was not seeking that, it was about God.”

When you firmly establish God as your Lord and Savior than you won’t project that onto a husband in the future.

“It gave me a stability so when I did remarry, God was still there. He was my Savior, my husband today does not bear that burden of needing to save me or be everything to me. He can make mistakes, and I just go to God about it.”

It is important to not become desperate when it comes to finding another spouse.

“So often when we become desperate, we’re willing to eat the crumbs that fall from the table. And love the way the world projects it is nothing but crumbs. It’s like drinking salt water, it does not quench our thirst. But when we go to Jesus, He is waiting for us.”

Michelle Senters is the founder and director of SEEN, a ministry designed to demonstrate the love of Christ to single mothers and equip churches to meet their spiritual needs. She is a popular Bible study teacher and a sought-after speaker at women’s events and writer’s conferences. She holds a B.A. in education and a masters of education in Integrated Teaching Through the Arts.

Key Scripture: Psalm 30:11-12

Featured Songs: Do it Again – Elevation Worship; I Won’t Let You Go – Switchfoot; Unfinished – Mandisa   

Loneliness as a single mother