Human trafficking, addiction, and panic attacks led Kristina to believe that, as she says, ‘God had only created her to hate me.’ But God loved her greatly even at her lowest point.
“I just I cried out, and said, ‘God if you’re real, and you hear me, please take my life.’ I did not want to commit suicide, but I did not want to live anymore. I wasn’t living, and I just wanted to die.”
“I don’t know if it was the anxiety or if it was God, but every time I closed my eyes that night it was like I stopped breathing and that happened over and over and over again until I finally just broke down and I was just like, ‘Okay, God, I know you can take my life. I know that you can do that now, and I don’t want to die but I can’t do this. You have to do it.’”
For Kristina, her change was literally night and day.
“I woke up the next day, and I had this peace and this joy and this love that I had never experienced a fraction of prior to that day, and it hasn’t left. It’s been almost four years and it has not left. God just completely flooded me.”
Kristina has experienced God’s deliverance and sense of purpose in her life.
God will use your life
“I haven’t had a panic attack in almost four years. I am celibate. I am sober. He changed my desires. His loving kindness brings us to repentance. He took my pain and my fear and he gave me that peace I was seeking…He’s using my life now – A life that I didn’t want…and now for me to live is Christ and to die is gain.”