Married couples are commanded by God to surrender to one another and look out for their spouse’s best interest. However it can be easier said than done because our sinful nature prompts us to be self-focused.
Greg and Julie Gorman share some of their hard-earned wisdom about surrendering to and loving your spouse.
“It’s counter-intuitive isn’t it? When we give up our rights, when we look out for the other’s best interest.”
What if my spouse is self-centered?
Unfortunately, this spirit of self-sacrifice is often one-sided. If your spouse is self-centered, you are still responsible for loving them and put their well-being before your own.
Often, when one spouse is self-centered, the other often reciprocates the selfishness. However, this only complicates the problem.
Amazing transformation can take place when an attitude of surrender is modeled in a marriage relationship regardless of how the other spouse behaves. Greg shares how Julies surrender impacted his selfishness,
“When she surrendered her rights and needs, it automatically made me want to reciprocate.”
When Julie made the choice to stop badgering Greg and simply put his needs before her needs, his heart started to change.
“So I’m sitting out there fishing and I long to see her. I’m ready to wrap it up and go home because there wasn’t that pressure to be home anymore. I felt like when I got home I was going to be welcomed.
It was the first step that she took and when she did, it automatically made me want to do the exact same thing for her.”
Instead of trying to guilt your spouse into putting you first, simply model it and let the Holy Spirit do a work that only it can do.
What if my spouse never reciprocates?
Unfortunately, sometimes this concept of modeling doesn’t work and a spouse doesn’t change. In this case, it’s important to remember that you aren’t alone. God wants your marriage relationship to succeed as much as you do. Rely on God daily to help to help you surrender to your spouse.
“Surrendering and forgiving and all of those things are not natural, but by the grace of God, He superimposes his character onto out character.”
Our love and attitude of surrender cannot be based on the love we receive from our spouse, it must be inspired by the Holy Spirit and God’s love for us.
“When we are full of him, we are going to be okay.”
Key Scriptures: Philippians 2:1-4; Ephesians 5:22-28; Hebrews 12:1-2
Featured Songs: Let Them See You by JJ Weeks Band; Made New by Lincoln Brewster; Today is Beautiful by David Dunn
Highlight : The importance of surrendering to your spouse
Susie, This was an awesome interview with Greg and Julie Gorman! I loved Julie’s book WHAT I WISH MY MOTHER HAD TOLD ME ABOUT MEN so much that I quoted it in the book I just wrote for Harvest House Publishers!
WHAT I WISH MY MOTHER HAD TOLD ME ABOUT MARRIAGE is just fantastic! A great resource to build a #NoRegretsMarriage !