Choosing whom to date is of utmost importance – we need to do it with an eternal perspective. Focus on the Family’s Lisa Anderson explains. “You need to know first of all that they’re going to be in heaven with you. If you were dating someone and they don’t even share your faith, and all you know is that when eternity comes you two are going to be separated… You can’t even talk around that kind of sadness.”

Should we then make a list of things we’d like in a spouse? Lisa says yes, within reason.

“A basic list is great and I think it has about four things on it.

  1. That person knows and loves Jesus Christ and is an active disciple of Christ as outlined in the Bible. Not someone who just goes to church and retweets John Piper. They love Jesus, they’re living it out, they’re serving Him actively and it shows.
  2. They need to be humble and teachable.
  3. This person needs to be in a position to marry. They have grown up; they have taken ownership of their issues. They are moving in a direction that shows responsibility in their life. They have a job, guys. They can protect and provide for a family.
  4. You need to find someone that either has a calling you share or a calling that you can join. So if you’re headed in two different directions that’s not going to be helpful.”

Men also have traits they look for. “Guys will often cite the attraction or chemistry thing as being important but they know that that’s not going to hold a marriage together. So what they want in addition to that is someone who loves Jesus. And I’m not discounting attraction, I think it’s important.” Given that, we can’t focus on attraction exclusively – as Lisa explains. “So often in our consumeristic society we look at someone and we make a snap judgment and we say ‘Oh no… Their arms are too big or I don’t like their hair…’ this is someone that God has made in His image. What does it look like to evaluate a person for who they are, as a person, as God created them?”

Lisa’s book is  .

Key Scriptures: Judges 6:14-16; Philippians 4:11

Featured Songs: The Maker by Chris August; Glow in the Dark by Jason Gray; Press On by Mandisa

Highlight : Should we make lists for a would-be spouse?

What’s your relational manifesto?

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