We’ve all heard it said that married couples should never go to bed mad. Researcher Shaunti Feldhahn says it might not be as unhealthy as we thought.
Paul, in the book of Ephesians has this to say about being angry.
“Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger…” Ephesians 4:26.
This verse has promoted the belief that it is never good to go to bed angry. Even some of the most biblically committed couples are finding out that it might not be ideal to go to bed angry, sometimes it’s necessary.
“There comes a point where you have two exhausted, angry, emotional, and tired people and you get to the point where nothing good is going to come at midnight from continuing to duke it out.
Sometimes it’s okay to not resolve things at night. When we take time to rest and recover, we often see with increased clarity.
“Sometimes in the morning, they were like, ‘What was that about?’”
The issues that caused so much strife the night before don’t seem as insurmountable. For couples who do go to bed mad, the important thing is how they respond in the morning.
“If the issue was still there the next day, they didn’t let it go, they dealt with it.”
Statistically, the happiest couples were the ones who took time to resolve issues that were still present in the morning. Everybody else was much more likely to hope it floated away.
When Paul is speaking in Ephesians 4:26, he is quoting Psalms 4:4.
“Tremble, and do not sin; Meditate in your heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah” Psalm 4:4
This Psalm suggests that Christians should avoid outbursts of anger. Instead of lashing out, they should meditate on their problems, bringing them to be the Lord in silence.
Key Scriptures: Proverbs 3:5-6
Featured Songs: Let the Music Play by Chris August; He is With Us by Love & the Outcome; Joy by Rend Collective
Highlight : Why you should go to bed mad
Keep track of what the other one is giving! Love this, Shaunti Feldhahn! We try to notice the good things about each other- and it is a wonderful viewpoint to live from!