Sometimes the most loving thing God can do for His children is expose their sin.

Vicki Tiede knows what it’s like to discover your husband has a pornography addiction. In her first marriage, which lasted just a few years, her husband showed many signs of sexual addiction. He isolated them, was disinterested in intimacy, and was very secretive about his habits and free time. His lack of repentance led to the disillusion of their marriage.

Vicki found healing and is now remarried – but for many women, they’re still shocked and bewildered by what they’ve found. She shares some encouragement and biblical counsel in her book,  .

Where can they go for help?

First, know that God loves your husband, and this is why his addiction has been exposed. Vicki points out that your husband’s disgust with his addiction is a good sign. A calloused heart is a red flag.

“I always tell women that they should be so thankful when their husband is struggling with his addiction because the majority of the world is just doing it.”

Repentance is key to healing.

Vicki references the Ashley Madison scandal that was in the headlines earlier this year. A number of pastors and ministry leaders were exposed as having accounts on this website, which allowed users to arrange anonymous affairs. When the site was hacked and names were released, many leaders lost their ministries and platforms.

In such a dark, tragic story, Vicki says we can see God’s grace.

“I think we have to step back and look at…the good news: this came to light. And that was God’s plan.”

When dark things like this come to light, that’s where God does His work. That’s when He can free people from captivity.

“He [God] reveals deep and hidden things; He knows what is in the darkness and the light dwells with Him.” Daniel 2:22

Vicki counts it as God’s grace that most of the 30 million who had accounts on this website never actually followed through with the adultery. But it’s a symptom of an underlying heart condition that needs God’s healing.

“The beauty is that those men were set free now, by it coming to light. Perhaps they lost their jobs and their relationships are damaged. Who hasn’t heard about Josh Duggar’s involvement in all of this? And I pray, and have prayed, for both he and his wife, that at some point they’re able to say ‘Thank You Jesus that this was exposed.’ Because now they can get the help that they need.”

Key Scriptures: 2 Corinthians 12:9; Proverbs 4:23; Philippians 4:8

Featured Songs: Press On by Mandisa; Take Another Step by Steven Curtis Chapman; Something Beautiful by Steven Curtis Chapman

Highlight : When God sheds light on a sexual addiction

How to handle a spouse’s sexual sin