God refines us not only through trials but also through our reaction to those trials.
Dr. Celeste Li has walked alongside countless patients living with HIV/AIDS. She and Susie explore the hard lessons she learned and the call Christians have to suffer with others.
We encounter broken and hurting people on a daily basis. How can we serve them? Here are a few things from Dr. Li’s book Triumph Over Suffering that she recommends to avoid:
“You must have roused the wrath of God.”
“Just have more faith.”
“God doesn’t want anyone to suffer – just claim the victory!”
“Cheer up – it could be a lot worse!”
Ultimately our loved ones don’t want pat answers or a formula from us. In Dr. Li’s words, “They want us to be with them in that pain, to weep with them. It’s about a loss. It’s about loss of a job, or a spouse, or loss of our health.” Don’t try to make the leap to exceedingly joyful without taking time to process what was lost. Understand that suffering is about a loss – it’s about grief. Dr. Li explains the five general stages of grief:
Denial – When we receive news of a loss, the jolt is so great that we’re unable to process the reality of what’s happening.
Anger – After a loss we are forced to confront a sense of entitlement. “I don’t deserve this, this relationship/job/house was mine.”
Bargaining – In this stage we try to correct a behavior or change something in our life in the hopes that God will return what was lost.
Grief – The period of deep sadness as we realize what has shifted in our lives. While we should not put a timetable on our grief, Dr. Li cautions us against getting stuck in this stage.
Acceptance – The one stage we want to get to quickly. Understand that there are layers of peace and acceptance, and God will bring us to each one throughout our life.
Grief is a messy process, and a person will often move through different stages at different times. Dr. Li calls us to trust in the Lord, to keep a soft heart of repentance, and keep our eyes on Jesus as He leads us out of the valley. Joy is ours, and full restoration is coming.
Key Scriptures: Isaiah 43:1-4
Theme Song: Man of Sorrows by Hillsong
