Relationships are full of communication – verbal and nonverbal, good and bad.  Dr. Greg Smalley says a healthy marriage is built on what he calls positive communication – terms of endearment, supportive words, and a willingness to forgive. He joins Susie to unpack this next trait for building a thriving marriage.

Why is communication important? Greg shares his thoughts.

“Good communication is the lifeblood of a marriage. On the flip side, if we’re having moments that we’re not allowing ourselves to be known – how quickly that can kill a marriage.”

What does positive communication mean?

• “Help me understand.”

• “I’m proud of you.”

• “I’m on your team; I want you to succeed.”

• “I appreciate the way you…”

“The deepest level of communication is empathy. Instead of debating my wife, it’s an opportunity for me to say, ‘Help me to understand.’ The biggest mistake I made as a young husband is I would focus on the words she said and the facts – if you do that, there’s zero opportunity to be successful at communication. If my agenda is to help her feel cared for, what I move her toward is a great place. “

What does a negative belief do?

• Colors every action and behavior your spouse does in your eyes.

• Creates emotional distance in your marriage.

• Allows a foothold for Satan to manipulate the dynamics between you.

Greg says, each couple needs to set apart time on a daily basis to connect in a meaningful way.

“It starts to feel like two roommates or business partners, and that’s not God’s idea of marriage. If we don’t have an opportunity to share with our best friend on this earth – our spouse – it creates such a problem. So many things go unsaid. God placed within us the need to be known.”

Key Scriptures: Deuteronomy 31:6; Proverbs 18:21; Colossians 4:6

Featured Songs: Love Take Me Over by Steven Curtis Chapman; Press On by Building 429; He is With Us by Love & the Outcome

Highlight : The power of positive talk

Traits of a healthy marriage: positive communication