One of the common issues we have in relationships is blame-casting and deflection. How can we learn to manage conflict in a mature, responsible way?
Bill Arnold, co-host of Real Recovery, joins Susie in studio to look at common practices of healthy relationships. Together they unpack the game of relational tag with counselor and pastor Dr. Glenn Pickering. In his book, Playing Tag, Dr. Pickering points to the one rule of the game: “Don’t be it.” When we’re young, the game of tag is fun, challenging, and exhilirating. But when we play as adults, it fractures relationships and leads to bullying, resentment, tension, and loneliness.
This plays out in our conflicts when we resort to blaming the other person instead of claiming responsibility. Dr. Pickering and his wife spend time working with couples to develop healthy ways to handle conflict. He says we must come to a place of being able to look at the other person in the middle of a conflict and say, “I’m precious to God, and you’re precious to me.”
He, Susie, and Bill also unpack
• The signs of a game of tag
• Why we find it easier to blame others when we walk through a conflict or difficulty
• The difference between a lack of turmoil and true peace
• How to handle conflict in a healthy way
• The most dangerous question we can ask – “What do I want?”
Dr. Pickering says no relationship is one sided, and that truth also applies to the positive and negative dynamics. We need to work as a team to rebuild intimacy and walk with a forgiving and humble heart. “It takes two of us to fix a broken relationship.” When we remember that the other person has value, and that the end goal is unity rather than being right, we can start the process of reconciling and overcoming issues.
Key Scriptures: James 1:19; Colossians 4:6; Ephesians 4:32
Music: Let Your Mercy Rain by Chris Tomlin
Highlight : Start with yourself
This program has been previously aired.
Susie shared her takeaways from this show!
