My life is nothing like David’s.
He led an army. I’m raising an 11 year old boy and 14 year old girl.
He had a lot of wives. I have a husband.
David was chased by a jealous king- I have been a free Christian all my life. I have taken a mostly shame free life for granted.
But so often, I forget God’s promises. I don’t apply the words of the Bible to me. Every day, I try to do it on my own and think I can go my own way. I don’t think in my head, “I’m not going to pray.” But I don’t seek the Lord.
Sunday, I took the kids to church (and errands) out of town while my husband worked. The three of us did too much in one day and I became frustrated. There was tension in the car. I didn’t want to spend any more money on the kids.
Did I seek God and ask Him how to build his kingdom of righteousness right then? No, I did not. It didn’t even occur to me.
(It’s ironic too that, even if I had thought of praying, I would have worried how my daughter would react. I’m scared of my own daughter and forget to trust God with my fears.)
I tried to get a hold of myself and be an adult. I take a deep breath and speak what I hope are calming words. The kids seem to forgive me, so we move on. But we didn’t pray. Why didn’t I ask God to forgive my independence? Why didn’t we pray out loud to restore our relationships with each other and with God?
I drop off the kids and go to work at a band fundraiser for an hour. Becky is invisible and even though the therapist tells me later that cliques are never about you, it does make me sad. I was not taking hold God’s glory and letting it shine.

There have been times that I’ve been able to see God work through me. Ten years ago, I sat down to supper with a friend and asked her if she knew the real meaning behind Easter. She didn’t, so I told her the gospel truth that Jesus- fully man and fully God- was put to death by sinners but God raised Him back to life after three days.
Two years ago, as I was checking out at the cupcake store, I confidently invited the cashier to join BSF to study the gospel of John. She smiled at me. My other friend looked at me in surprise – “You go, Girl!”
Last week, I actually remembered the words of Romans and told my son what the Bible says about authority. His teachers have been placed over him by God and he is to respect and obey them.
I teach the good news of Jesus’ life and work to preschoolers every week but never take the message outside those church walls.

Wednesday, I do well practicing worship music with the group but one comment throws me off for three hours. I had a nagging feeling that I was deficient for not being familiar with a song. There was a disconnect there that I feel way too often.
Are you seeking connection? Are you pretending to be something you’re not, to fit in?
David pretended to be crazy so he could escape.
King Saul wanted him dead, so David went to the enemy to escape Saul. But when servants of the king of Gath recognized David, David became afraid. He did not pray, “LORD, help me!” He felt the only way to trick this king into thinking he wasn’t a threat was to act insane. David did not trust God with his fears. He pretended to be crazy and let his spittle drip down his beard.
King A. saw David and said, “Am I so short of madmen that you bring me this one?” This was not the same David that slew tens of thousands or brought down Goliath.
God would have saved David from harm, but David forgot and went his own way, for a time.

Do you worry you’re acting crazy? Remember with me to seek after God. David remembered and God relieved him of his fears. Do you forget that God’s promises are for you? Insert your name into the Bible.
Do the work of praying to remember to pray.
God answers His people!