Too many people are living high functioning and well connected lives and yet failing to truly connect with those around them. Thomas Paul Mills knows what it’s like to live surrounded by people but in isolation.
“I was an isolated man. I thought I was connected. I thought I was in contact with others.”
How can we think we are in contact with others, but not really be at all? Thomas explains.
“Isolation doesn’t speak about are you in in proximity or physical contact or having just normal conversations, isolation speaks more about the heart.”
Thomas shares a few question to consider in order to determine if you are truly connecting with others.
“Are you sharing your heart with someone? Are you letting yourself be known?”
If the answer is no than you might be living in a place of self constructed isolation.
“Intimacy and isolation are antithetical and I think we live un-intimate lives and we’ve lost that that whole art of connection with each other and of course that it plays a role in our dysfunctional marriages.”
It doesn’t matter how much influence we have, or how many people we rub shoulders with on a daily basis. If we are not truly connecting with anyone, we’re isolated.
“Here I was; I’m helping others as a counselor. I can’t tell you how many times I sat there across the room from a patient and said let’s see if we can get you connected with some others in your in your circles and in your community. And yet in my life, I wasn’t doing that. I wasn’t practicing what I was preaching.”
When was the last time you were honest and vulnerable with someone close to you?
Thomas Paul Mills, MA, LP is an author, therapist and speaker. Licensed by the state of Minnesota as a psychologist, Tom has been providing therapy for individuals, couples, and families for over 20 years. For more information, visit Thomaspaulmills.com
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Isolated and alone
