Highlight: Are you a Christian Nice Guy?

He’s never made an enemy and because of that he’s never really lived.

He is always pleasant, even when horrible things are going through his life.

He’s not going to be very honest with you. He might be gracious, but not truthful.

Who is this man being described? According to Paul Coughlin he’s the ‘Christian Nice Guy.’ While nice guys seem to have it all together on the outside, on the inside they are stifled by fear.

“A nice guy is extremely unreliable because when the chips are down he’s nowhere to be found. Their niceness does not stem from kindness, compassion, or even love, it usually stems from fear.”

Being nice and kind are two completely different things.

“Niceness is almost always a knee-jerk reaction to the need to please other people, and people-pleasers are extremely dishonest.”

Why is kindness better?

“Kindness is a choice that is under-girded by courage because in order to be kind to one person sometimes you have to disagree with another person. If you’re trying to please people all the time, you’re not going to have the guts to stand up to the other person in order to be kind.”

Courage is the virtue that underpins all other virtues and nice people are usually severely lacking.

“Nice people don’t have it, although they are more than happy to make you think that they do.”

Because the nice guy lacks courage, he also lacks the ability to stand up to anyone or anything.

“He doesn’t fight for anything, he doesn’t know how to fight and when he does it’s almost always the volcanic type of fighting, it’s not the assert type of lighting that we see in Jesus.”

Jesus wasn’t just nice; He knew when he needed to speak the truth in love.

“Jesus doesn’t tear people’s heads off, but He does speak the truth and man is it amazing when he does. Nice guys don’t know how to speak the truth, and they don’t want to speak the truth.”


Paul Coughlin is an international speaker, teacher, and author who has been interviewed by Good Morning America and the New York Times, among other media outlets. He is the founder of The Protectors, an anti-bullying organization that helps schools and churches throughout North America, as well as internationally.

Key Scripture: 2 Timothy 1:7

Featured Songs: Move – Toby Mac; The Lion and the Lamb – Leeland (on Bethel Music album); Take Another Step – Steven Curtis Chapman

No more Christian nice guy

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