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The Dr. Linda Mintle Show

Handling false accusation

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Dr. Linda Mintle

A friend of mine was falsely accused of something and lost his job. It was awful. Everything said about him was a lie and he had no opportunity to defend himself. It all happened because someone wanted his job.

When you are falsely accused, you often have no power to deal with the situation. Therefore, knowing how to respond in a godly way is key. In reality, we can’t always right every wrong.

Of course, the right thing to do is to go to the person who has accused you and try to reconcile. But reconciliation takes two and the other person has to be willing to listen and take responsibility for his or her part–the accusation. Because false accusers are generally people of great insecurity and feel threatened, they don’t engage in honest conversation.

A place to begin is Psalms 3,4, & 5. The psalmist, David, has much to offer in terms of our response. He begins by stating that there are many who rise up against him. In other words, he acknowledges the unfair treatment. But his response is to remember that the Lord is a shield for him. David cries out to the Lord and the Lord hears David’s cries for help and listens. Thus, we are to cry out to the Lord. He hears you in your distress. You are not alone. He is aware of what is happening.

“Know that the Lord has set apart his faithful servant for himself; the Lord hears when I call to him.” –Psalm 4:3

As we cry out to God, we may feel very angry. The natural response to a false accusation is to get angry and push back. However, anger can have serious consequences, especially if the accuser is someone in power over you. Scripture tells us, “Be angry and do not sin” (Ephesians 4:26).  Anger is acknowledged as a real emotion that rises up when we are falsely accused, but the challenge is to feel that anger and not sin in response to it. This often takes great control only possible through the Holy Spirit in you.

My voice You shall hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning I will direct it to You, and I will look up.” –Psalm 5:3

Finally, pray, be still and put your trust in God. Sit quietly before the Lord and allow Him to direct your thoughts and actions. Ask for wisdom in terms of what to do.

“Meditate with your heart on your bed and be still.” –Psalm 4:4

God assures us that if our attitude is right, He will protect us. Put your trust in Him. He is our security! And in Psalm 5, David reminds us that he will destroy those who speak falsehoods (verse 6). In our culture of accusation, offense and falsehoods, remember the right response of faith. Your shield, protector is not man, but God.

About Dr. Linda Mintle

Dr. Linda Mintle is a national expert on relationships and the psychology of food, weight and body image.
Accusation , Anger , Communication