When Michelle Lewis was a little girl, her dream was to be a wife and a mother. More than anything else, she wanted to marry, have children, and be a stay-at-home mom. By the time she was in her twenties, she had her wedding planned – all she needed was to meet her husband.

Michelle went to college, and then began a career. Throughout her twenties, she continued to hope that her dream would become reality.  In her 30’s, having never met the man she would marry, she struggled with disappointment and despair. Her hope to be a mother was a natural desire, so why wasn’t God answering her prayers?

When Michelle turned 40, medical issues required her to have a hysterectomy and she had to face the devastating reality that she would never have the opportunity to carry her own child. Why would God keep her from her heart’s greatest desire?

Michelle grieved the loss of her dream. The grief led to anger, depression and despair. God could have changed her circumstances at any time; why didn’t He? How could she love a God who would allow this?

Michelle was honest with God about her anger. She shared her disappointment with those closest to her. At times, she fell into a deep depression. The sadness seemed overwhelming, and it affected her relationships and her work. She knew she couldn’t stay in that place of hopelessness forever.

But even when Michelle felt at her lowest, God had faithfully placed guardrails around her life.  Friends and family were there to support, encourage, and pray for her. Those guardrails kept her from giving up on God.

God has continued to affirm his love for her, even while he comforts her in her grief. And He has used this great disappointment to help Michelle empathize and minister to others in a powerful way. Through this experience, Michelle has learned how to cope with devastating disappointment, and still find hope in God.

Hear Michelle’s powerful story in Chapter 29 of Epic.

When God doesn’t give the desires of your heart - Michelle Lewis