Highlight: How do I know if I've really forgiven?

Have you ever had someone sin against you and ask for your forgiveness? You probably responded with the words, “I forgive you.”

But you did you really meant it, or did it do any good?

Dr. Mark Strong says that there is one fool proof process we can undergo to verify that we have actually forgiven those we say we have. In their book, , Dr. Mark Strong and Dr. Bruce Wilkinson outline 5 steps to forgiveness.

1. Open your heart

2. Extend compassion

3. Release the person from your inner prison

4. Forgive the person for each wound

5. Bless and seek ways to do good to them

“We call it the forgiveness verifier, so that you know that you’ve forgiven. Once you know that you’ve forgiven that person then, Satan has no legal right to come back and torment you or haunt you with that.”

Dr. Strong says that when we are able to verbally bless and do good to those who have wronged us with a clear conscience, we know we have forgiven that person. If we still have a hard heart towards a person who has wronged us, we will find it extraordinarily difficult to bless them with our mouths.

But do we really have to forgive someone if we don’t feel like we want too?

“When is the right time to do what Jesus commands us to? Delayed obedience is what? It’s disobedience. So the best thing to do is not allow a heart prison to develop where I don’t forgive someone, and I lock them in the depths of my heart. When I choose to forgive and free everyone from my heart prison, I’m not opening it back up for business again.”

Ultimately, forgiveness sets us free from the turmoil of the heart that results from harboring unforgiveness.


Dr. Mark E. Strong is a pastor and author from Portland, Oregon. He and his wife Marla have served as the senior pastors of Life Change Church, a dynamic multi-ethnic church located in the heart of Portland since 1988.

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