These days, Pastor Brian Houston’s Sunday mornings are spent delivering the great news of Jesus to thousands at Hillsong Church in Sidney, Australia. During the week, he can often be found doing the same on the stages of packed arenas across the globe – such as on his latest “Hillsong Nights” tour across America.

So it might be surprising to discover that when a youthful Brian Houston first began stepping up to the pulpit, he had to battle severe nervousness.

“You know it was very real. My father at the time was a very prominent preacher, and I guess because of that I felt a lot of pressure.

It was entirely self-inflicted. My parents didn’t put any kind of pressure on me, but I feel like I thought I had to live up to something. So nerves were a huge battle for me.”

To this day, Brian remembers what he felt when those nerves struck.

“I remember one time when I was very young, standing up before a crowd. I spoke about three sentences. I’d learned it all off by heart, and then went blank – completely blank.

It was just an agonizing period of time. It felt like four hours. It was probably in fact sixty seconds. I had nothing to say. I froze.

I mention in the book that I also would get a nervous twitch. I didn’t stutter, but my eyes did! I was this crazy blinker, which I didn’t realize I was doing. My wife used to even call me – lightheartedly – the blinking preacher.”

In Brian’s just-released, latest book – Live Love Lead – he details a particularly poignant example of what he grappled with during this time.

“I was so fearful about speaking at chapel in my Bible college class – to only about sixty students – that instead of turning up I hopped in my car and drove the other direction because I just couldn’t face it. It was huge problem in my life.”

But God wasn’t done with this story, and Pastor Brian explains how He stepped in and led him through this period of challenge.

“There’s two chapters of my book – one’s called “Confidence in your calling”, the other is called “Being comfortable in your own skin”, and I think those two things – just developing a Godly confidence that God has called me, and learning how to rest into that call. And that he created me to be comfortable in my own skin.

When God created me, He knew exactly what He had in mind. He doesn’t make us one way to use us a different way. So – in other other words – God wants me to be me.

And the moment I really had accepted that, and was just at ease with who I am – and who I am in Christ – the confidence came.

I always knew deep down in my heart I had the ability and the capacity to communicate, and to preach, and to impact people. Now I live in the joy of that Godly confidence.”

Highlight: A youthful battle

On the Road with Brian Houston