“I don’t want to go home. I’m afraid he’ll do it again.”
At least one in three women have been victims of sexual assault in their lifetime, and often those who have been abused ask ‘is it my fault?’
Pastor and professor Justin Holcomb and his wife Lindsey Holcomb, a counselor specializing in domestic violence, have written a new book titled Is It My Fault?
Justin joins Connecting Faith to encourage, equip and extend grace to those facing this heartache. He touches on these various aspects of abuse and healing:
The definition of domestic violence: “A pattern of coercive controlling or abusive behavior that is used by one individual to gain or maintain power and control over another individual in the context of an intimate relationship. This includes any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, exploit, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure, or wound an intimate partner.”
The prevalence of violence – abuse occurs across every region, culture, economic status, religion, and ethnicity. 5-7% of domestic violence cases are against men.
The traits of an abusive or unhealthy relationship, and the traits of an abuser. Justin points out that abusers are
Methodical
Logical
Power-hungry
The difference between physical, verbal, emotional, and sexual abuse
How we can overcome the ‘victim blaming’ mentality
The biblical view of suffering (discipline from God vs. sin from others) and whether or not God wants someone to remain in an unsafe relationship
How the church can be involved in seeing and stopping domestic abuse and facilitate healing
Highlight – Hope after domestic violence
Image: Flickr
Excellent show – suffering segment was bold!
Do you see a trait amongst abusers being poor communicators thus they function only in reactive mode?
If you agree, with that, who/how can that be learned. (Definitely not from their intimate partner). However, is that the crazy cycle, “they DON’T want to learn”??
If your children are in the dark about their father’s abuse and actually tell me I’m mean to HIM when I act “cool” to him as all they see is him acting nice when earlier he was raging at me, cursing, throwing things at me, breaking things he knows are precious to me, telling me I’m worthless etc. do you tell them? He is a good father, and I want my kids to respect/love their dad, but he isn’t teaching them to be a good husband or for my daughters, a role model for marriage.