Colossians tells us to work at whatever we do with our whole heart. How does that translate into a marriage relationship? Listen as Focus on the Family’s Erin Smalley joins us to talk about ten keys to being a wholehearted wife.

“The goal is to change the overall environment of our home. Often times we spend our energy focused on our husbands and what they are or are not doing. Let’s seek learning and wisdom so we can show up in this relationship and model the behaviors we desire to receive.”

Erin says she came into marriage to Greg with her own expectations.

“We were pretty clueless! We had high expectations. I was marrying the son of Dr. Greg Smalley; we had expectations that things would go pretty easily. I had so much to learn. There were things that I could grow in, especially seeking validation for what I was feeling. I was like a suction vacuum cleaner, looking around for someone to validate how I was feeling.”

On the verge of a breaking point, Erin and Greg slowly started to build new habits for intimacy into their marriage. Through counseling and mentoring, they learned to work together and love each other as gifts rather than sources. Erin shares what she’s learned:

• The reactive cycle, and the difference between reacting to your spouse and responding to them.

• How men and women sense and deal with conflict differently.

• The importance of connecting for twenty minutes a day.

• How to give yourself grace in every season of your marriage.

• Self-care in marriage.

• Countering lies and the attacks of Satan with the Word of God.

“We all have these wounds and lies that we bring into marriage with us. I came into marriage with a ‘not-good-enough’ lie.”

Erin used the promises in Scripture to remind herself that she was loved, called, and complete in Christ, and that truth exists through every stage of her marriage with Greg. “Turn to the Lord, tell Him what you’re feeling, and seek His truth.”

Key Scriptures: Ephesians 6:7-9; Colossians 3:23; Proverbs 29:11

Featured Songs: King of My Heart by Love & the Outcome; He Knows My Name by Francesca Battistelli; Flawless by MercyMe

Highlight : Drawing from the source of strength

Strategies of the wholehearted wife

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