Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church and his wife Grace have together written the new book Real Marriage: The Truth about Sex, Friendship, and Life Together, on their view of biblical manhood and womanhood, forgiveness and loving your spouse in light of the cross.

Many young couples walk into marriage with high expectations and exaggerated ideals and this was certainly the case for Grace and Mark Driscoll.

According to Mark:

“When you’re dating someone you put your best foot forward and present yourself in the best possible light and then once you’re married for a few years your really start to get to know who you’re married to.”

“We were trying to figure out how to put a marriage and life together.”

 According to Grace:

“I just had a simple expectation of marriage being happy and fun.”

Because they thought it should be easy they didn’t put the effort they needed into their marriage. Grace explained that in the early years they let the responsibilities of life and ministry be prioritized over their marriage. 

Coming together:

According to Mark, although young couples don’t admit it or realize it, they are often idolizing marriage–expecting it to be easy and happy forever.

“In idolizing marriage I ended up demonizing grace and doubting God.”

They found in the early years of their marriage that having a strong community around them was key. They needed people to walk with them and people who could call them out when problems arose. Strong marriages, they learned take hard work and lots of time. Good deep relationships aren’t easy going all the time.

Figuring out how to deal with sin is also very important.

“There’s going to be sin in a marriage and if you don’t learn how to ‘take it out’–it’s really going to make the marriage pretty brutal.”

Key Scriptures: Song of Solomon 5:161 Corinthians 13

Real marriage

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