When was the last time you said, did, or even sent something you immediately regretted?

With the advent of the internet and social media, it’s become even easier to react to others in a regrettable way.

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is the author of Before You Hit Send: Preventing Headache and Heartache. He shares four questions we can ask ourselves before we try to communicate with others.

  • Is it true?
  • Is it kind?
  • Is it necessary?
  • Is it clear?

Emerson says if we take these questions to heart, we can drastically reduce the amount of times we say something that we end up regretting.

“You have that illuminating moment of ‘wow, this will really help me be a credible and effective communicator,’ because I wanted to communicate well, that was in my heart.”

Emerson says that most of us could agree that effective communication is the key to success no matter what field we find ourselves in.

“Unless you’re in a cloistered monastery and you’ve taken a vow of silence, most of us are in fields where what we say is extremely important.”

“The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” – Luke 6:45

Not only is it important in a practical, vocational sense, Emerson says it’s also important in a spiritual sense.

“Our Lord himself said, ‘the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart.’ What we’re saying from our lips represents our nature.’”

What would happen if we asked ourselves these four questions before we spoke or sent a message to someone?

Emerson believes that by testing our communication against these simple questions, we can dramatically increase our own credibility as communicators and also enhance the relationships that we have in our lives as well.


Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, who has a PhD in child and family ecology from Michigan State University, is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships.  Based on over three decades of counseling as well as scientific and biblical research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah developed the Love and Respect Conference which they present to live audiences around the country.

Key Scripture: Ecclesiastes 3:7

Featured Songs: Clean – Natalie Grant; Still – Hillary Scott; Trust in You – Lauren Daigle

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