How can we create an environment that supports single adults in the church? Candice Watters reflects on a season when she was a single adult, seeking to understand the biblical design for marriage and God’s future plans for her life.

“I was really persuaded from Scripture that marriage was God’s intention from the beginning and He has not rescinded that. Part of the reason that we know that is because marriage between a man and a woman isn’t the ultimate relationship. It’s a sign and a symbol that points to the ultimate relationship which is the marriage of Christ to His bride, the church.”

“I was convinced that if this was God’s design for creation and for all of time for men and women, it may be His design for me and I’m going to seek that. I always prayed that I wouldn’t have a gift of singleness, but I wasn’t going to walk away…I was going to keep praying and I was going to keep hoping.”

Even though getting married was a desire of her heart, Candice realized there are segments of Scripture that call us to enter into the suffering of Christ. She adds that singleness could be considered a form of suffering for some people.

“Given the realities of the culture, the time that we live in, the scourge of pornography and other things like that, I believe there will be women who would have made great wives, but who won’t end up married and it will be a burden for them.”

“It’s so important that we in the church weep with them. Jesus wants us to weep with those who weep (Romans 12:15). That is a heavy burden to carry. We shouldn’t isolate them into a single’s group, we should have multi-generational relationships.”

“Singles need to be in relationship with young children; they need the joy of working with children. They need older friends and they need friends their own ages. They shouldn’t feel like their lives are on hold because they’re not yet married, they should be fully embraced into the life of the church.

We can support the singles in our churches by creating an environment that is welcoming to all believers, regardless of their marital status.

Candice Watters is a wife, mom, and Bible teacher. She is the author of Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help It Happen, co-founder with her husband, Steve, of and co-author of Start Your Family: Inspiration for Having Babies. They have four children and blog at

How to support the singles in our midst
Also on this edition of Neil Stavem
Leith Anderson on church and culture

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