Do you deal with impulsivity and ego-centrism?

At certain points, we all do. Dr. Todd Mulliken gives us insight into how we can curb our impulsive responses and change our natural tendencies.

“From age two to seven is when ego-centrism is really loud. I WANT, I WANT, I WANT, I WANT! Now, unfortunately some people don’t get over that, and there needs to be some type of a defining moment: a Saul to Paul thing, a turning over to God.”

Christianity is about turning from ego-centrism to Christ-centered thinking through a first big yes and followed by many little yeses.

“So I think the way we go from egocentric to Christ-centered is a regular, daily pursuit of humility, holiness, and empathy. Empathy, I think, is one of our greatest callings. Empathy is putting yourself in the other person’s shoes.”

“So if I’m having a conversation, I’m slowing my engine down enough to say, ‘I really want to know what the other person thinks,’ and that slows down some of the impulsivity. The Holy Spirit comes in as a spirit of truth, and we start to slowly, not magically overnight but over time, change the generational pattern of impulsivity, change that generational pattern of fear and anxiety and restlessness where we just control people out of our fear.”

It’s the daily pursuit of Christ that allows us to get our heads in the right space so we can do the right thing.

“We get to pursue holiness. We get to pursue moving ourselves off the throne. Sitting up in the bleachers with Jesus and watching the story. Slowing it down enough to make the right read.”

“A real key in self-regulation is slowing the engine down enough, bringing the Holy Spirit in, and then making a reasonable, God-honoring choice. If we start rehearsing that and practicing that every day, we start to see fruit. We start to see change, and then when something happens that is hurtful or sinful it starts to grieve our heart.”


Todd Mulliken, MS, LPCC is a counselor, author and speaker. He is the owner of Mulliken Counseling Center in Edina, Minnesota, which is a Clinic where he provides counseling for individuals, couples, and families. Todd speaks at a variety of venues including schools and churches on a number of topics related to the field of mental health.

Slowing down and pursuing holiness

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