Lost that lovin’ feeling?
By: Connecting Faith
Many couples lose that ‘spark’ when they’ve been married several years. How can we bring that passion back into a tired relationship?
Marriage expert Dr. David Clarke offers tools and tips for bringing passion back into your marriage.
Before host Jo Bender got married, she witnessed a husband and wife demonstrate the importance of quality time in their marriage. She shares about this experience,
“When I was a younger person, I traveled around the country a little bit and I would often stay with families. I stayed with this pastor and his family and they did something after dinner and I said, ‘I need that to be part of my life.’
“They would send their kids into the play room for 30 minutes after dinner; they wouldn’t even wash up the dishes or anything and they’d spend that 30 minutes sitting on the couch, just talking to each other and the kids weren’t allowed in.”
Dr. Clarke stresses the importance of quality time between a husband and a wife,
“It is critical. Sandy and I have done it for probably now 18-20 years and boy has it made a difference. These are the times we connect; it’s just the two of us, private and great ambiance.”
Quality time is one of the key ingredients for bringing passion back into a marriage relationship. No children is critical during this time of intimacy, Dr. Clarke adds, unless it’s an emergency.
“Where children are, romance and passion to go to die. They will be involved, of course, with many other hours of the day but they’re not to be involved in this, because if they are there, then it’s always about the kid.”
Along with spending some alone time with your spouse, creating an intimate ambiance is also important. He shares some helpful tips,
“It could be a special warm and fuzzy place in your home, probably not the bedroom. It’s probably living room or a kitchen nook area; something quiet, something nice.”
“You could have a little Michael Bublé on in the background because it’s romantic, you’re setting the tone; a couple of drinks there, comfortable lighting, etc.”
Dr. Clarke says we need to have daily, intimate connections with our spouse. This can reignite the ‘spark’ and bring passion back into any marriage relationship.
“Physical passion is the result of the emotional and spiritual connections you create during the day.”
Dr. David E. Clarke is a Christian psychologist, popular speaker, and successful author. Through his Bible-based teaching and therapy, he guides people toward healthy lives, marriages, and families. He is the author of Kiss Me Like You Mean It: Solomon's Crazy in Love How-To Manual.
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