What’s the difference between living from your heart – and living from your hurts?

Dr. Jim Wilder, the author of , helps us understand the difference between living from your heart and living from your hurts.

“Living from your hurt means that you are looking at your life according to what you need to avoid, what you’re afraid of.”

When we live from our hurts, we’re living to avoid upsetting anyone, whatever the cost. As a result our fears are guiding the decisions we make. 

Jim shares one example of an entire church leadership group he encountered encountered that was living from their hurts.

“I was talking to a church staff one time and they said, ‘We can’t do that because so-and-so will be upset. It’s interesting that the whole church was being stirred up and steered by the most emotionally immature person in the church, the person who was most likely to get upset.”

Other times, living from our hurts prompts us to try to control everyone around us, because we find it easier to control them than our own emotions.

What does it mean to live from your heart? It’s important to understand what the Bible really means by our heart.

“In the Bible, your heart is not your emotions. Your heart is your eyes and your ears in the Spirit. Whenever God says you have a hard heart, it’s because you’re not hearing and seeing God. When your heart is clear, you see that God is with you. When you see that God is with you, the world looks very different than it would otherwise.”

When we live from our heart, we are always bringing God’s perspective to bear on our current circumstances.

“Even if someone doesn’t like you, you realize that they aren’t seeing you the way God does.”

Dr. Wilder says that the most important part of living from your heart is having some kind of active connection with God as you’re going through your day.


Dr. Jim Wilder has been delving into biblical Scripture, spiritual formation, and brain science. Jim and his wife Kitty have been married for over forty years, and have several children and grandchildren. When he is not writing his next book or teaching the Life Model, you might also find him camping, backpacking, scuba diving, playing guitar, or gardening.

Key Scripture: 1 Thessalonians 5:14

Featured Songs: Redeemed – Big Daddy Weave; Take Courage – Bethel Music; Press On – Building 429

Living from the heart Jesus gave you