We all can recall a time in life when someone close to us was experiencing a time of trial. Almost everyone is familiar with feeling of not knowing how to help. How can we make sure that the help we’re trying to give is actually helpful and not detrimental?

Sarah Beckman explains that the best way we can be helpful is by thinking of the hurting person and not ourselves.

“The thing we forget is that even though you’re serving your friend, you’re cooking the meal, and you want it to be beautiful, the bottom line is when we really want to help someone and not be a detriment, we need to remember it’s not about us.”

Sarah says that most often, when we wind up being detrimental instead of helpful, it’s because we didn’t put ourselves in the shoe’s of the person we are trying to help.

“They want to serve, they have good intentions. Please hear me when I say I am a very aware that people have amazing intentions, but I believe we can just go a little bit extra and think about it from a frame of reference that says it’s not about me, it’s about them.”

Food is one of the most common ways people look to provide for one another in their time of need. Sarah says that it’s also important to put yourself in the other persons shoes when planning a meal.

“Bringing my dish that needs to be returned is not a benefit. Absolutely do not bring Aunt Florence’s china dish that you need back, because if you think through what’s going on in that house, let’s say their grieving, they may not even want to eat, or they might not even be able to get off the couch. We fail to take the simple step of putting ourselves in their place and making it about them instead of about us.”


Sarah Beckman is a speaker, writer and blogger. Sarah is the founder of Salt and Clay Ministries, her passion for loving her neighbor has fueled her life and ministry for over 10 years. Her own health trials coupled with her experience walking alongside countless people facing trial, including three with terminal illness, provide her authentic, compelling viewpoint for this book.

Key Scripture: Matthew 22:36-40

Featured Songs: Sinking Ships – Lincoln Brewster; Open Hands – Laura Story; Chris Tomlin – Home

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