God’s love in our darkest moments
By: Real Recovery
Porcia had been sober for 4 months and on an idyllic summers day she decided a beer sounded nice and that she could handle just one. The rest, as they say, is history.
“I relapsed again and lost everything. I had a great job at a law firm and was going to school and I felt like I had everything going for me and then meth called my name and I went back and this time it was the bottom for me.”
“I lost my home, I became homeless for the first time, but not the kind of homeless where you have a home you just never go there, literally all my stuff’s kicked out. I had to get rid of everything because only a little bit fit in my car, and I’m driving around in my car watching my bank account sink every day because I’m doing drugs and living by myself in cheap hotels trying to figure out what I’m going to do with myself.”
It was in Porcia’s darkest moment that she learned God was still there and He still loved her with an everlasting love.
“I went back to Teen Challenge, the place that I’d been so many times before, the place where I’d had a really powerful experience with God, and I just looked at myself in the mirror and I was like I don’t even know who I am anymore. I look like death, like walking death, and I feel like walking death, and I don’t even know if I have anything left in me to try to pick up the pieces again because I failed so many times, but something in me said, no, I’m going to try this one more time.”
“I sat on my bed at Teen Challenge and I just started crying, and I literally felt God speak to me in that moment. I felt Jesus tell me, ‘I still have hope in you.’ And I felt Him say it again, ‘I still have hope in you.’“
“I remember thinking, how could God have hope in me at my darkest, ugliest, most horrible moment? How could he even want to speak to me in this moment? That was for me the day that everything changed.”
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