What does it mean to give of your first fruits to your family? Dr. Greg Smalley says that giving of our first fruits, doesn’t just mean giving the first of the harvest, it’s about giving the best of the harvest.

“It’s the very best that we’ve produced. That’s the stuff that we need to give to our family and to our spouse; our best time, our best attention. The first fruits of what we have to offer.”

Unfortunately, many things get the time and attention that should be reserved for our families, including our cell phones. Greg says it’s important for couples to redeem the sacred moments together that can be used to strengthen a marriage relationship, including what they call car time.

“I notice it more when we get in the car, because at bedtime I’m usually looking at the news and Erin lays down and she’s looking at her phone, so we’re both kind of disconnected, looking at the phone.”

“When I’m driving and she sits down, it’s so easy for her to just quickly jump in and answer a text really quick. It’s almost like, let me get this stuff done and then we’ll connect.”

Even if that’s not the message Erin means to send, she admits the message is sent regardless. Erin says it’s important to make the most of the opportunities you do get and eliminate distractions.

“It’s so critical to take away any of those distractions. It’s much easier to connect on a deep level when you’re not staring at the phone. It sends the message, whoever I’m texting is more important than you and although this is your time with me, I’m going to steal it away and give it to these other people and that’s not the message I want to send.”


Dr. Greg Smalley serves as executive director of Marriage and Family Formation at Focus on the Family.  In this role, he develops and oversees initiatives that prepare individuals for marriage, strengthen and nurture existing marriages and help couples in marital crises. He also serves as a media spokesperson on these matters.

Key Scripture: Proverbs 3:9

Featured songs: Open Hands – Laura Story; He Knows My Name – Francesca Battestelli; I’m Not Who I Was – Brandon Heath

Giving your first fruits to your family

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