Why is it often so hard to love those who mean the most to us? Whether it’s family, or close friends, we often find ourselves struggling to give grace to those who are closest to us.

If this is your struggle, Gary Morland says you’re not alone. He knows first-hand how dysfunctional family relationships can be. He shares several timeless tools for family peace that we can tap into to help our family dynamics flourish the way God intended.

Woo their hearts

“Being scolded isn’t fun. However, wooing feels way better because we are automatically wired to respond to grace, gentleness, love, and kindness. We’re wired that way because the Lord wants us to live that way with others. We can take advantage of how He has made us work and fight against dysfunction by offering grace and not a scolding.”

Get your peace right

Peace comes from God alone.

“I have to start with peace in and from God.”

When we seek our peace and happiness in our spouse or our family, we inadvertently set them up for failure. People, even those we love, cannot provide lasting peace and happiness if we don’t first find it in God.

“I can’t get a peace or happiness from them that their not made to give me. Only the Lord can give me a certain kind of deep peace and happiness.”

Accept your role and your limits

“I can’t control anybody. We can get frustrated if we try to make people into who we think they should be. I’ve been placed in my family for the Lord to influence my family through me, not for me to dictate what I think is best as if I can come up with what is best for you.”

Ultimately, Gary says these timeless principles are instituted by God and if we follow them, our relationships can flourish in a way we never thought possible.


Gary Morland is a professional communicator with more than thirty years of radio experience sharing his own life story and helping others share theirs. As a twenty-five-year sober alcoholic, he describes himself as “a guy who should have died but didn’t, with a wife who should have left but stayed.” If anyone knows the power of grace and forgiveness, it’s Gary.

Key Scripture: 2 Corinthians 4:11

Featured Songs: Whole Heart – Brandon Heath; Safe in My Father’s Arms – Santus Real; For the One – Bethel Music

Family shaped by grace