In marital conflict, he’s not your enemy

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Conflict in marriage is inevitable. When it does arrive, how do we handle it well?

Couples often treat conflict in marriage as two boxers in the ring pounding away at each other. However, according to Arlene Pellicane that is more destructive than constructive.

“We had to realize that we were not fighting each other, that was the wrong paradigm. Instead we should be back to back with our fists faced outwards, fighting our circumstances, fighting our money problems, fighting our problems with our children, fighting our problems at work.”

Arlene says that it is imperative that couples focus on fighting together as a team and not against each other.

“I think if we can embrace that mindset of you are not my enemy, no matter how crazy you make me feel, or how much I don’t agree with you. You are the person I chose and have vowed to hold for better or for worse, you’re not my enemy.”

Consider what things you are fighting about a lot and address those issues as a team.

“Get educated on the areas you feel like this is where we’re arguing, maybe its communication, we just keep saying the wrong things to each other, then take a communication seminar together and read a communication book together, it’s worth it.”

It’s also important to analyze what aspects of life seem to be causing conflict and look for outside help.

Highlight: Recognizing the real enemy

Is it okay to fight in front of your kids?

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