Highlight: Three-dimensional relationships

The greatest commandments from the Bible are centered around relationships; they teach us how to relate to God and to the people He has placed in our lives. Ken Sande points out that Scripture also reveals that our relationships were created to be three-dimensional.

“God designed us to be in relationship with Him, in relationship with other people, but also in relationship to ourselves.”

He refers to Mark 12:31,

“That’s why Jesus says, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ You have to understand; how do I love myself? How do I feel about myself? How do I look out for myself? How do I make excuses for myself and serve myself? If we know how we want to be treated and like to be treated, we know how to love our neighbors.”

Ken discovered that there are two dynamics within the three-dimensional relationship. The first dynamic is awareness. He shares questions to help us build more of an awareness of God, ourselves and others:

God awareness.

 “Who is He? What is He like? What is He up to? What are His purposes?”

Self-awareness.

What are my fears? What are my strengths? What are my weaknesses? What are my interests?”

Other awareness.

“How can I be aware of the other person? Empathetic to understand, what are they feeling, thinking and struggling with?”

The second dynamic is engagementHow are we going to respond to what we know? Ken explains why this question is so important.

“It doesn’t do anything to know things about God and His character if I don’t respond to Him in obedience, faithfulness, and trust. It doesn’t do any good for me to know my weaknesses and my temptations if I don’t ask God to give me grace to discipline myself.”

“As I look at the other person, not only want to be empathetic, sensitive, and aware, but I want to act on that awareness and minister to that person; serve that person, love that person.”

The Bible is clear about how we can relate to God, others, and ourselves on a deeper level. We can do our part by applying its truths to our lives on a daily basis.

“Every verse the Bible is telling us how to know and love God, how to understand and manage ourselves, and how to read, minister and love our neighbor.”


Ken Sande is the founder of Peacemaker Ministries and Relational Wisdom 360. As president of RW360, he focuses on teaching people how to build strong relationships in the family, church, and workplace.

Relational Wisdom