Highlight: The role of forgiveness in relationships

This weekend I have a special guest, Dr. Fred DiBlasio, a researcher and clinician who has studied forgiveness for over 20 years and comes at it from a Christian perspective.

Before you listen, test yourself on the true or false forgiveness quiz. Then listen to our show as we move to better understand the role forgiveness plays in our relationships.

True or False:

1. Forgiveness is an option based on our feelings.

2. Forgiveness is a good idea when someone deserves it.

3. Forgiveness is rewarded by God.

4. Forgiveness requires other people to confess or make up.

5. Forgiveness is tough to do in the natural.

6. Forgiveness is reconciliation.

7. Forgiveness is not saying that what the person did to you was OK.

8. Forgiveness is minimizing the hurt or wrong that was done to you.

9. Forgiveness is pardoning the offense.

10. Forgiveness is to be continuously offered.

Answers:

False. Forgiveness is an act of obedience to God. Mark 11:25

False. None of us deserves forgiveness yet God gives it to us. Luke 6:37

True. When we choose to honor God and live by kingdom principles, we are rewarded. Proverbs 25:21-22

False. It does not matter what the other person does. Forgiveness is an individual act that we choose to do regardless of the other person’s actions. Colossians 3:13

True. Forgiveness is not a natural response. It takes the power of the Holy Spirit in you to treat someone kindly who has treated you unfairly. Romans 7:18-19

False. It takes one person to forgive and two to reconcile. God’s heart is that we be reconciled to one another, but this isn’t always possible if the other person won’t try.  Psalm 133:1

True. Forgiveness is not saying that what the person did to you was OK. What the person did was not OK, that is why you need to forgive. Luke 23:34

False. What the person did to you may be horrible, undeserved, and ungodly. Forgiving that person does not take away from the wrongness of the action. But if you hold on to anger associated with the hurt, you won’t heal. Ephesians 4:26

False. Only God pardons or brings vengeance. He is the ultimate judge so release the person to Him. Romans 12:17-19

True. It doesn’t matter how many times a person hurts or offends you, each time, forgive. Luke 17:3-4

The role of forgiveness in relationships