‘Because I said so!’
If you remember your grandparents or parents saying this to you, you are not alone! Although these aphorisms aren’t pleasant to hear as a child, they actually have a strong biblical foundation and can have generational impacts.
Parenting expert, counselor, and author John Rosemond looks at what the aphorisms our grandparents used and how it changed their parenting styles. His book is Grandma Was Right after All.
“The heart behind a lot of these aphorisms involved the idea that there was a boundary – not just a physical boundary, but an emotional boundary between the parent and child.”
You might also recall hearing these examples: ‘You made this bed and you’re going to lie in it’ or ‘I’m going to let you stew in your own juices about this.’
John elaborates on the powerful influence these aphorisms can have.
“In both cases, the parent is saying to the child: ‘You’ve created a problem for yourself and I’m not going to participate in it. You’re going to have to deal with this issue on your own. You created it, it is your issue and I am not going to be your partner in this.’”
Aphorisms generally reflect an attitude from a parent towards the child that reminds them that they are going to be held accountable. This will ultimately allow them to deal with their own consequences and learn from their own mistakes. These lessons helped build a sturdier generation.
Valuable parenting lessons can be learned from our grandparents, and can even lead to creating a sturdier generation. John explains the shift he’s seen over the years:
“The parenting attitude that prevailed prior to the psychological parenting revolution of the sixties and seventies was a more functional attitude for a parent and child. It caused children to be sturdier children.”
Parenting in today’s world certainly carries challenges of its own. By using the perfect mixture of good old aphorisms and your own unique parenting style, you’ll provide healthy boundaries while disciplining your children, and make grandma proud too.
