“He made a decision that he was going to keep anger low in our home.”
Gary Smalley passed away recently at the age of 75. His son, Focus on the Family’s Dr. Greg Smalley, says one of the things Gary left behind was a legacy of honor and love. He chose to pursue his children and family for reconciliation whenever he failed as a father or raised anger in their hearts.
“He always pursued us after a fight, after an argument, after a tough situation. He’d never allowed us to stay in that state of ‘I’m angry at you, dad.’ He would come humbly.”
Gary often shared a story of something that happened when Greg and his brother were little. He was on an important phone call, and Greg and his brother Michael were wrestling. After Gary warned them to be quiet, Greg started yelling. He excused himself from the phone call and took Greg into the other room for a spanking. Afterwards, as the anger subsided, Gary asked his son what happened to cause him to yell so loudly. Greg had hit his ear on the tub while he was wrestling with his brother, and it was swollen and bloody. Gary instantly softened and apologized.
“Oh my gosh, I am the biggest loser as a dad. Son, I was so wrong.” Gary then said something that stands out in Greg’s mind all these years later.
“You are so much more important and valuable than a phone call.”
Gary handed Greg the spanking stick and invited Greg to use it on him. Greg instead laid it down and gave his father a hug, and all was forgiven. Greg references Jeremiah 31:3 and Hebrews 13:5 to show what his father Gary ultimately taught him.
“‘I will never leave you never forsake you… I will love you with an everlasting love…’ man, he backed that up.”
Gary left a legacy of honor, reconciliation, and faith in the lives of thousands. But ultimately, it had the greatest impact under his own roof – which is something Gary himself would find the most joy in. What legacy are you leaving for your family today?
Key Scriptures: Mark 12:30-31
Featured Songs: If We’re Honest by Francesca Battestelli; Free to Be Me by Francesca Battestelli; Who I Am by Blanca
