A date is a terrible thing to waste.
Michael Johnson, founder of Future Marriage University shares valuable advice for men and women who are preparing themselves for marriage someday. He discusses insight from his book Top 10: Marriage Tips for Smart Single.
There is something much more important to pay attention to than chemistry in relationships, he explains, it is to identify the character of the person you’re dating.
“Couples time and time again will overlook character problems because of chemistry.”
Instead, we need to focus on a person’s character. Michael addresses important questions that help reveal a person’s character:
• What kind of person are they?
• Aren’t they are they responsible?
• Are they honest?
• Are they straightforward?
• Do they think about other people first or is that a struggle for them?
Why is character so important?
“Character trumps chemistry every single time. I think about the couples that I know that are unhappy in marriage. They had chemistry at one time, it was on fire, but one or both of them won’t even admit that now because they’re struggling so much. If you look at why they’re struggling, one or both of them have character issues that are flaming out of control.”
Taking notice to these character deficiencies really helps in preparing for marriage. Michael shares his first impressions of his wife, Julie, and how their relationship developed over the years.
“What happened in our relationship is…I just really liked Julie when I met her. I thought she was neat, cute, she’s really funny…but the more I got to know who she was, where she went from just some cute girl to this girl that I was like, ‘Wow, I like you,’ and all the other girls that I felt that chemistry for right away, all those sparks, that didn’t happen.”
After twenty two years of marriage, Michael shares how the character of Julie has blossomed over the years and continues to captivate him.
“She already had the seeds of that when I knew her as a friend; she already had to seeds of that when I knew her when we were dating – that character just continues to grow and enrich, deepen and mature.”
