Masculinity can be a difficult topic for Christians as hyper-masculinity is often depicted and expected of males in our church. But what is really expected of guys, and how can they achieve it?
Author Nate Pyle tackles the topic of masculinity in his book , and offers an alternative vision of how men can strive to be more like Jesus.
How can men become more vulnerable?
He suggests that a men’s group tends to be the easiest way to start to open up. By having leaders who can encourage vulnerability, and model it themselves, guys can start to become more comfortable with sharing.
“In group therapy situations when there is at least one individual that is willing to be transparent and vulnerable all of a sudden what starts to happen is that other people feel the freedom to do the same.”
But what about outside of a therapy group? Bill also suggests that a small Bible study group or group of close male friends is a good place to start. The key is just having it be all guys.
“…initially for a guy maybe that needs to be in an all-male group. Eventually I think it should be in a couple’s group, but maybe that’s the place where a leader, or you know a guy who has influence, starts to be vulnerable, to be transparent, and then the other guys’ walls start to come down.”
Nate agrees that a small, safe group is the best place to start and then vulnerability and openness can spread from there to be in all parts of a guy’s life.
“And when I say small, I’m thinking like two to maybe five at the max. Vulnerability has a way of breeding courage in others that brings about more vulnerability.”
There has to be a lot of trust within a small group of guys, and there has to be someone who’s willing to take that first step to say what’s absolutely so for them, and then go one step further. Once that first step is taken then that gives permission for everybody else in the group to say what they need to say and go a step or two further than what they’re truly comfortable with.
