If you find yourself asking the ‘why’ questions about your kids—‘Why won’t my child behave?,’ ‘Why won’t he clean his room?’ then this latest edition of Connecting Faith is for you.
John G. Miller joins us to take us to the questions behind the questions. We discover a better way to guide our kids, and learn the QBQ method of parenting with John, pointing to his book Parenting the QBQ Way. Here’s where our conversation takes us:
So what is the QBQ Method? QBQ stands for “Question behind the question”. It’s a strategy that can help organizations and people make accountability a core value. John helps spread the news about QBQ through speaking, training programs, and books.
We turn to the way we can implement this effort in our parenting. John says the most powerful tool we have to pass along lessons to our kids is to model the very behavior we’re attempting to teach. In other words, we need to be role models. And we have to be accountable for our own behavior.
What’s called for in today’s profoundly confusing world is strong parenting. We can’t afford weak parenting.
A central question to evaluate your parenting is, “Who is in charge?” If effective parenting is going to happen, your child cannot be the one in charge.
We investigate the questions behind common questions. “Why” questions can lead to victim thinking. “When” questions can be paths to procrastination, and John notes that procrastination is the close friend of failure. “Who” questions can be a road to fear and blame.
When we arrive at a tricky situation with our kids, it can help to simply take a step back from the problem and ask ourselves how we can confront it more productively.
Sometimes we shouldn’t shield our kids from the consequences of their choices. Natural consequences can help us all grow.
