Christi Paul is a news anchor who faced intense emotional abuse from her first husband. She was going through a time of emotional trauma after the murder of one of her college friends when she met Justin, the man who became her first husband.
She was in her first television job in a small town away from her family. They had just started dating when Justin got a job in Boise and asked her to go with him. Shortly there after she got a better job offer in Cleveland. When she told Justin, he said she still had to go with him to Boise or they were over.
“I guess on some level I thought it was noble to pick a man over a job.”
Christi realized that she was making her decision to go with Justin somewhat out of love but mostly out of fear.
“So many of us, and I think I myself, have been afraid to sit down and examine ourselves and our motives. What if they’re not pure? What if they’re not logical?”
They got married, and it was on their wedding day that Christi first noticed the outbursts. In the early years Justin would go out drinking and come home and yell at Christi.
“There was a constant threat of abandonment. There was a constant threat of deflection. He was always turning the tables if I tried to talk to him and be logical with him.”
He called her horrible names and he punched walls and doors.
“There was no safety.”
She stayed as long as she did because she wanted to heal his hurt and make it better. She finally left when she realized she wasn’t serving God by being in that marriage.
Christi has written Love Isn’t Supposed to Hurt. She also shares with Susie how she learned not to make decisions out of fear and how she rebuilt her self-esteem and regained control of her life.
